What it's like in the The Dark Night of the Soul

2020 has been a year like no other. So if you're feeling lost, confused, stuck, scared - and really anything in between, honestly you're not alone.

This year I've entered in to the Dark Night of The Soul... and in this ep I talk candidly about what it's like being in the void.

In fact, I recorded it last week but wasn't going to publish it. Until I saw Mel Robbins talk about her breakdown, and her vulnerability gave me the courage to see this could help you... at least help you feel less alone if you're in something similar. 

Because we're all human.

xo
Simone

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You're here because you want more out of life, more money, pleasure, flow, freedom, luxury. We are all about an unwavering Southwest and a network you love to talk about. My name is Simone messa Huggins. I'm your resident unapologetic wealth queen. I've built seven figures from the ground up, and these community is now doing the same. Ms. Wealthy movement is here to help you be more of the bad-ass queen. You were born to be so tune in for everything, investing money, energetics, millionaire, mindsets, and everything in between. If you want to be a powerful player in the money game, in the right place. Welcome to the kiss, my money podcast.

Hey,

Did you tune into last week's episode? I hope you loved it. I really enjoyed recording that. I went in front of the Thai hour and Oh, I could have just gone for hours and it was now is, um, I'm going to record more on trading. So really, cause I just, I want more people, women in particular to really get the knowledge that you need and get the insights that you need in a world where particularly in the, the trading world is like it's the wild West. It is the wild West out there. There were so many people pushing, so many things around, just miss advice, misinformation. So much crap does this. Unfortunately. So many providers that make all of their money on training you. So like the actual education piece, rather than that, they've actually proven to have made money. So I'm going to be doing a lot more training and I'll always link back to Adrian's program.

It's fantastic program when, and if you ever join, you will see me in the group as well in that, in the private group. Um, that is part of that because you know, obviously that has been my journey as well. And if you saw the email that went out, I, I actually read, didn't think I said this in the podcast episode last week, but I realized that we have millions and millions of dollars in between us, between myself and Adrian, my mentor, who runs that the trading program on educating you in how to actually trade properly, uh, and be profitable. And between him and me and his students as well, literally millions and millions of dollars in the mock-up. And so it's also something that I have been using for years since I started trading. And he has been doing for over a decade while they were a decade.

And has he actually has billions of dollars himself in the market. So, uh, anyway, I loved recording. Uh, I'm going to talk more about it and, and this episode is a complete switch, complete an auto switch. And if it doesn't relate to what I'm about to tell you what it's about, then like just get the next one. You know, I am going to just be more unapologetic about the content that I share after I saw something really fantastic from Amanda Francis actually about, you know, what do you Sarah share on social media? What are you sharing your business? If you run your own business, or if you have a side hustle or anything like that, this is going to relate to you. She did a just, it was like a five minute video and far out. It was so good of just the fact that just talk about what you don't want.

Stop trying to please other people, really everything for me comes onto the banner of wealth trading, investing money, mindset, millionaire, hacking entrepreneurship, inner peace, because wealth is not just all about the money. So if you're here for that, great, if you don't want it to get to the next thing, cause there's a shitload of content on this podcast. There's a bunch you can find on the website, ms. [inaudible] dot com. We have a five day bad-ass money challenge, which is run in the kiss. My money, Facebook group, it's free. We obviously have investing bootcamp. We currently have a balance in line, but that's going to be pulled out and turned into many other mini programs. So if you haven't joined abundance online yet, and you can get everything at like one 97, then come and join it because soon it's going to be turned into its clone pieces. Um, so it'd be, it'd be like two or three or four times the price, probably like four times the price, by the way, if you,

You can hear the snoring and the fat ground, it's my pug Holly. Oh, hate. And he's

No it's snowing right now. Of course, when I start, Oh, there it is. Did you hear that?

He's just Nora. Uh, he's adorable. Uh, so we're just going to run with that. I thought about moving him out or waking him up and I just, you know what, you're here for it it's adorable and who doesn't love sleep. So we're just going with it. I was kind of also playing back last week, the episode on trading, um, because I wanted to kind of like take some notes to put in the email about what it was, what it was about. And I heard like the background noise and it kind of made me realize like, this mic is great that I have, but it also does still pick up a bunch of background noise. And you can probably hear my husband in the background talking at some point in the other room, you know, COVID, he's working from home. Uh, so whatever, um, anti perfectionist, anti perfectionism, and hopefully that inspires you to be the same.

So we're going to run with that. Uh, this week's episode is I even, I wasn't even gonna share it, but in my commitment to be more vulnerable with you and to show up unapologetically and non perfection is in a non perfectionist way. I decided it. Because actually I think a lot of other people also going through this right now with the current state of the world, particularly in Australia, well Victoria, and in, especially because they've been in lockdown for so long and whilst we've had this COVID phase, I really think that we're going to have an another wave of just mental health problems. I don't want to use that problem. I don't want to use that word, mental health challenges, where this takes toll. And so if you are struggling right now and if you're feeling sad or depressed or lonely, or you're having feeling like having an extra central crisis, Oh my God, please don't beat yourself up. You are not alone. You are not alone. You are not alone. And I really hope that you can just give yourself some time. There's a lot 2020 has been insane in between COVID and the current presidential election that it's coming up between the most sexist.

Oh,

So many things. So many things, Person that I probably have known in the entire world, somehow he became president and I don't get, I don't tend to get very political. Obviously I live in Australia and not in the U S and There's so much to know between the difference between Republicans and Democrats and everything else between in between. Uh, but between that, and then black lives matter. And what we've seen of just such an insane scale or what has been continuing rather at such an insane scale that

Hasn't changed too.

The mental health issues that are born out of what we are currently going through to everything else in between you guys, 2020 has been insane, and we've still got another three months left of it. And maybe it is heralding, a new era of the world's never really going to go back to how things were it just won't things have changed for good in some way. So my point is, I am actually talking to you today about the dark night of the soul. If you haven't heard or know about what that is, I'll explain it. And currently full transparency. I am currently in a dark night of the soul, and I feel like I've kind of been in it deeply. And I was almost trying to pull myself out of it. And then I went through a phase of just letting it be there, letting it run its course.

Then I got confused about not having my own power. And then I tried to take back and reclaim my power. And then, you know what, I'm just, I'm, I'm still in it. I'm still in the thick of it. So if you've ever been through this, if you feel like you're in this right now, or if you are playing this episode in a year's time, and this is you who I have some things to share with you about this, it's going to get deep. It's going to get real. I'm going to get real with you. And you also just need to know it's okay. You are not alone. You are not the only one going through it. And I got you. It's also not the first time I've ever been through this, but it's definitely the biggest, the most intense, the longest.

Yeah, it's, it's definitely the biggest I've ever been through a month. And instead of pretending, like it's not there or putting a smile on my face or going, trying to go about my day and just act as if nothing is happening, I'm just going to share it with you. I'm just going to be totally real. So what the dark night is, is it essentially kind of feels like a death, almost like an ego with death, like an ego death, but I'm going to pull on a couple of different people who have explained it so eloquently and beautifully like dr. Beckwith, who, um, Oprah Winfrey interviews. He's also on, I think it's mine mind Valley. I can't totally learn off the holistic psychologist, a whole bunch of people. So this is not just from me. And I'm going to give you some also questions. Some practices that help you be in it.

What I will say is there's no magic bullet to quote unquote, get out of it. There's no six steps to end the dark night of the soul. There's no, this is the path to free yourself. No end. If that is the purpose, then what's happening in that moment is resistance, right? Trying to get rid of it rather than just let it be there. And with resistance, you know, that whether, how the saying goes, what re what you resist persists, because we haven't fully surrendered to it. If we never fully surrender to it, we can't just accept it as it is. We can't hold it. We can't hold the pain, the emotion, the darkness, the depth, the sadness, and know that we're strong enough to both hold that and see out the other side. So probably the biggest, I'm not saying that's easy. Probably the biggest for me has been to just let it be there and not try and fix it or get rid of it.

Some people that have said that they've come out on the other side is, Oh, like, you know, yeah. I've been through that and thank I'm out of it. Well, it actually does. It's a teacher, right? It teaches us something. And part of the lesson is literally just having it go at its course. Right? Okay. So what is the dark night? So we're all born with a soul and we go through embodiment and an integration. We have a human experience. So we are, we are literally as a spiritual being, living out a human experience in the modern world. So we all, we all have a soul, right? Uh, and if you have someone that is still teetering on this and like questioning whether that's true are tell me how then to articulate what consciousness is. Right. We don't even know how to explain the brain.

Scientists don't even know how to explain consciousness. People don't even go into it because it's so in-depth. And they even say that consciousness doesn't even live in the brain. It lives in the body. So we have a soul. And essentially what it really is, is it's kind of a period of spiritual desolation, total disconnection, pure emptiness, a dullness avoid an absolute meaninglessness. Essentially everything feels meaningless sounds intense. And it is, it is actually intense. It's scary. It's as the word implies, dark it's can be full of total and complete fear. That feels like you're lost. It feels like you're hopeless. It feels like you're consumed with like total melancholy. Like nothing lights you up. There's nothing that makes you feel alive. Almost like a spiritual depression, but it's not like depression. I've been depressed before clinically depressed. And it's not the same. I mean, everything is dull, but it's still busily low.

Not the same. What it feels like for me right now is I just don't care. I don't care about you thing. It's almost like, I didn't even know if I'll survive this and I don't even care if I survive. It. It's so bizarre to explain because I have never been this person I've been through periods of this before, but not, not to this extent, not to the depths of what this is like. And yes, I've been depressed before, but it's very different. And if you've been following me for awhile, you know that I am not new to the personal development or the spiritual world I spent. I didn't even probably going on six, seven years now, maybe eight years of deep inner work, deep work, Holy crap. Deep I've spent well over a hundred, $150,000 myself on personal development programs, mentors, coaches in a work healers training, getting myself to a point of understanding, really just emotional intelligence. And I love it. Of course, I love it. I wouldn't spend that money if I didn't love it. It's also hard. It's also why so many people don't do it because it's easier to just ignore. It's easier to turn on Netflix, not to demonize Netflix. I watch Netflix. It's just easier to go from your box office, to your box home, to watch the box on the TV and open your box fridge and

You know,

Pull out the glass of wine from the bottle, which is not a box. It's something round. So that's different, but it's easier to just not do the inner work, not do personal development work, particularly when, when you're, if you're someone who's listening to this, you're not probably new to it, right? Maybe it is the first time you listening to anything to do with personal development. But most people listening to this are not new to it. And sometimes when you're in the world, when you've done the Tony Robbins programs and you've hired a coach and you've bought courses online and you full, you know, part of masterminds, sometimes you forget that the world that you're in, because when you enter that world, it's a world, right? You have your people, you go to these events and then you you'll be bored. They get it, people get it. And it's so easy to forget that so many people don't do that, that they're not on the spiritual path and not on the personal development path. They didn't even know what a coach is. And so many people still, I roll at the idea of self-help book,

Right?

I was like going with that anyway. My point is, I've been doing this work for a long time. And so it's both, I dunno, maybe partly shocking that I'm going through this now. Maybe partly shocking. I haven't gone through this earlier. God here. The judgment in that. So the dark note, the tongue night really is about almost like losing touch being in that emptiness and something can trigger it. It can be a death from someone else, something else in your life, from someone close to you. And sometimes it can just be a buildup of different things. And there's nothing really that triggers it. It's less so about what triggers it or why you're in it and more so about embracing the fact that you are and

Doing it,

Everything that you need to do for you to get through it, you can get through it. And one way is I guess, easier, which is full of resistance. Uh, sorry, hot. I was just full of resistance in one way is easy. It doesn't mean it's easy, just means easier than fuller resistance. And I'm going to give you some of those resources today.

So

It's not, like I said, it's not like depression. It's a different experience. It's almost like a spiritual existential former of crisis, essentially. Right? And there are seven. So loner Wolf, which is kind of like a spiritual blog, essentially pretty big. Um, they have these what they call seven omens that you might be going through in a dark night of the soul. And I'm going to read them out because they were really helpful for me. Not all are apply for me, but it might be true for you. The first one is you feel a deep sense of sadness and often veggies on despair. And that sadness is, can be triggered by the state of your life, maybe humanity and or the whole word world as a whole. So if you're currently going through this right now, because of what's happening with the world, it's not a surprise. Number two, you feel it an acute sense of unworthiness. Mm. So I know that the unworthiness story, the not good enough story is something that so many people do carry particularly women.

Okay.

It's deeper than that. So it doesn't mean you're in a dark night of the soul. If you feel like you're not good enough in some areas of your life, but this is one of the things that can come with being in a dark night or being in an ego death, uh, number three, you feel like you have a constant feeling of being lost or condemned to a life of suffering or emptiness. Number four, you possess a painful feeling of powerlessness and hopelessness. Five. You will, your will. And self control is weakened making it difficult for you to act number six, you lacked interest and find no joy in things that once excited you seven, you crave for the loss of something, intangible a longing for a distant place or to return home again, whatever that home is. So not all of these really relate to me.

I do feel a deep sense of sadness is not quite despair. There's definitely sadness. There's an acute sense of unworthiness, which was a surprise when I was kind of journaling and realize that, I mean, I'm human. I experience it. I've just done so much gone and worthiness and being good enough. I was surprised of the level of extent that was there when I actually looked at it. Um, I don't feel like I've been condemned to a life of suffering. Uh, I do feel a little bit powerlessness, but the ones that really get it for me do it for me are that my will is weakened making it difficult for me to act. So for somewhat, for some, I have always had a strong will determination and motivation. I've always knowing my purpose over always being very clear on direction. I have a defined heart.

So for anyone listening that knows deeply about human design, it's always been my guide, my guiding force. And in fact, my entire chart is open. I have all white centers except for a defined hot and my spleen, which is my authority. So my will has always been very strong and very much there. So to not have any well is it's devastating. It's bizarre. I don't feel like myself then the lack of interest in finding no enjoying things at once. Excited that is deeply there so much so that a couple of coaches have asked me this question and obviously great intentions. And one of my coaches who I love DLA I'm in my I'm actually in him asked mom, uh, she asked me the question of, okay, what are the things that excite you that bring you pleasure that bring you into a state of pure joy that I really pleasurable, that it really playful.

And it's a great question because when you're in a state of play, it's the highest form of you being in a creative state in creation, right? And this is really helpful if you are feeling overwhelmed in life or in business or whatever you're writing copy for your, as your side hustle, anything, getting yourself in a state of play first can be super helpful because from that place, you can be creative from that place, passion flows. And when you're doing things that are pleasurable, everything follows desire, including money. So if you follow your desire as money follows, it's just that so many times we get wrapped up in the concern of, Oh, it's so indulgence. I can't follow my desires. I can't always do things. I desire I have to work, or I have to do whatever I have to do things. Mm I'd. Invite you to really look at that belief. But on those questions, when other people have asked me and my coaches have asked me those questions, there are no things currently in my current state that bring me joy. So I have this feeling of nothing really excites me anymore. I have been doing the things that I know once excited me, and it's just not there. There is a slight pleasure, a slight pleasure in some of the things that used to excite me, but not to the extent anymore. Oh. Which is hard.

Right?

So those seven things really felt like for me, really nailed it. It really, Oh, I just really got it. And the other thing I wanted to share with you is this. So dr. Beckwith who Oprah interviews on super soul Sundays says, and he says, it's really, really well. The document of the soul is the crisis that occurs when a person has shed one identity, but has yet to refer like form a replacement. So you're literally in the dark, in the darkness, in between, right? You knew this is who used to be, but you're not that anymore, but who you are becoming, you're not that either, because there's no clarity. You don't know there's a total and complete unknowingness, it's, it's uncertain. And so it's dark. And sometimes it's really excruciating. And sometimes it's a lot of fee and there's a lot of disconnect. There's a disconnection from literally your old self

And,

Uh, grieving has to happen. You are grieving in all part of yourself. Quite literally, that part of you is now dead. You're not going back there, whoever you turn into next, whether it's complete and auto evolution, or if it's just a slider solution, you're not going back to who you used to be. And he actually talks about a question that is so beautiful. Also, almost really hard to hear, but he asked this and I want to share it with you. If this experience were to last forever, what quality would have to emerge for me to have peace of mind? I'm gonna say that again. If this experience were to last forever, what quality would have to emerge for me to have peace of mind? So maybe it's just strength. Maybe it's patience, maybe it's tolerance. Maybe it is peace for you to have peace of mind. Maybe it's just pace. Maybe it's surrender for me. It feels like strengths. I guess, even though I know I'm strong, uh, not to say will last forever, but if you were to ask if it did hard question, but also very, very powerful. So if this is something you're currently going through, like I said, you know, learn a lot of people have gone through it as well.

And

What is, I guess the good news, even though if you're currently in this right now, it may not sound very good. I not sound like the light at the end of the tunnel, is that what comes out on the other side of it is a rebirth. So for anything, for a rebirth to occur, a death has to occur for there to be a complete and utter transformation. Of course, a death has to occur. There has to be a door closing for something to open to something completely new to emerge. Now, currently I'm still deeply in it. So I didn't know what that new thing is yet for me. So it's still really scary. It's still really fearful. I had a healing, the like just actually a few days ago with a beautiful woman called Sarah Love, who Amanda Francis talks about and Andrea Crowder talks about.

And she actually said to me, she's never experienced anyone. Cause she taps into the energy with her intuition, uh, feels into it. She's never experienced anyone. It has this level of fear who that is not a badge I wear proudly, but it's also not that it's just there. It's not, I just have to, like, that would be, that is so much fear about the unknown. There's so much fear. Do you have a side of this? What's going to happen? Is everything going to completely dissolve is everything that I've completely built, both in the business and in my life. Is it going to end? I really, I really don't know. I know that I'm still passionate, deeply passionate about women's financial freedom. I mean financial freedom for anyone and raising the energetic frequency of wealth for everyone, for having more people be unapologetic, more Savage about earning money and doing good things with that money with doing it easily, with less hustle, more flow, more alignment.

So I know that I'm passionate about it, that I just don't know what the business looks like. I know that I want more women to be free. I just don't know what that looks like. And in my personal life, I really honor my husband for, for just being really present with where I'm currently at and being totally open. I said to him in the most deadpan way, this is going to sound really crazy, but I didn't even know what I want with us because that's literally the level of my lack of clarity of my unknowingness, of how everything is Dell and how I just don't care about anything. It's not that I don't care about you. It's just that I didn't even know. Maybe we should separate. Maybe we should divorce. And I also, I don't care. I didn't own it him for just holding that space.

Cause that's intense to hear. I mean, I'm very honest and very blunt, so that's not you, but that's a really intense thing to hear. And if you're currently in this right now, I honestly invite you to be as honest and be as vulnerable as possible to the extent where you can let yourself be. And obviously with people that can hold that space, not everyone can hold that space for you. Don't tell your EBIT driver necessarily, but I do really encourage you to be honest and vulnerable with it because it can be hard and scary and it can last longer than we want sometimes. Right? Here's the truth. Before any new growth or healing can occur, there has to be a process of destruction and complete an utter annihilation of everything you thought would bring you happiness for you to enter into a new realm.

That's heavy and it's totally true, right? It's totally true. And what used to bring happiness will not in the new form of who you become. So it was whilst there is no map to spiritual awakening. There are a couple of things that you can do to be in it and to get through it essentially until you do come out. The other side, one of those things is I've alluded to it already is to accept. Really just accept that it's here. The less you judge, it will make it wrong and just accept it as it is an accepted as being okay. And that you will be okay, the better, like I said, it's not easy. It's easy. We are human beings. So we judge, we make judgements about everything and accepting something and making it okay when you actually don't want it is hard. I know it's hard.

And yet it's one of the keys to really anything, anything including including the dark Knight or including the death of self, knowing that on the other side is a rebirth. So if you want that, if you truly want that, then accepting the current state has to happen. Second is to surrender, just to surrender to whatever happens. So in the accepting of where you're at right now, without judgment, I have been judging myself. I have been making myself wrong. I have to take action. I have to do something. I have to have a plan. I have to move the business forward. I have to make money. I have to blah, blah, blah. Right? I can't be quote unquote, lazy. I can't just sit on the couch. I have to move through this I'm power. I'm more powerful than this. I know how to reclaim my power.

Yeah. And the bizarre thing is this isn't even a process of power reclamation. This is the death of the old self. So there's nothing to power with claim. I don't want that. I don't want that all 12. So I've been making myself wrong and I've been judging because if you're doing that to, Hey, okay, you're human. And now literally the next second is a new opportunity for you to accept to rendering is more of a process of just feeling the pain and letting the pain be there, letting the fear be there, create the space for the fear. So in mindfulness, mindfulness is kind of like the overarching thing of where, what meditation sits under mindfulness. There's a mindfulness practice that, uh, dr. Russ Harris talks about in the happiness trap. It's an incredibly amazing book. If you love meditation and wanting to expand into other mindfulness practices, he's a psychologist that kind of basically wrote the book on, right?

The, uh, process on accepting and commitment therapy, which a lot of psychologists use. Um, he wrote a book called the happiness trap on one of the mindfulness techniques he uses is he talks about there's a lot of different actual methods, but one of them is that you actually just make room for it and you let it be there. And if you've ever used the Headspace app before Andy talks about in the meditation about, you know, being an observer of letting it be there, making space for it, creating space for it, because it's going to be there anyway. If the more you resist persists, the more you resist don't make it wrong. The bigger it gets them. When we make a big deal of it, the more it becomes a big deal. And so surrendering to it and just feeling the pain, even though it's hot and it sucks.

And no one willingly goes into the depths of the Dungeons to feel pain, to be sitting in fear, we have to surrender to it because we don't feel those depths just like any polarity or duality. On the other side of fear, the darkness, the sadness is light. Light doesn't exist without darkness. You realize that right there has to be a polarity that has to be a duality. The feminine doesn't exist with the masculine. One thing doesn't exist without something else. It's always something exists in relation to something else otherwise, how does it exist? Right? Our creator, whether you believe in God or the universe or whatever I created, it doesn't exist without the creation and equally the creation doesn't exist without the create tool. Interesting. Huh? So for us to experience happiness for us to experience light, to rest, to experience total joy and you person and you being an awakening, we have to go through the darkness.

We have to feel the pain. We have to feel the fear. How else will we know what the other side feels like if there's no duality or polarity a sucky as that sounds it's true. And the final thing, the third thing is self care. So just doing all the things and that bring you at least some peace to be in it, to sit with it, to be in surrender hot boths, sleeping a lot yesterday, I took a two hour nap and I also slept 12 hours. It was also after a healing, my healing session. So I think that that was just took a toll as well. So I don't always have to on apps, but a lot of people I do know, actually have naps in the middle of the day and it's successful entrepreneurs. So if you have a story around, uh, that napping, you can't make more money than we need to change.

That hustle equals more and hustle equals money, culture and believe, cause that's completely untrue. Uh, but whatever that self care is for you, sometimes it is watching a bit of Netflix listening to podcasts. One of the biggest things you can do is meditation. And if you feel like your current meditation practice or any meditation practice, if you ever tried before isn't working, or you don't want to do it, I get it. It's sometimes it's just hard and you just don't want to do it like jury to spend one of my most favorite books, um, becoming supernatural by Joe Dispenza. He has these meditations, which he talks about in great depth in the book of why they're so powerful. And it's extremely like it's mind blowing. If you ever read that book, go and pick it up. It's unbelievable. And he is a P pretty much bridges the gap between the explaining, the spiritual and the physical.

Um, he's amazing. And he has these meditations, uh, that are part of it. And they're an hour long. I just, I can't do hour long meditations. I'm going to be honest with you that they're too long for me that too long. It goes to a point where I was doing Headspace for 10 to 20 minutes. I've done transcendental meditation practices before too. They're 20 minutes. They actually say, ideally, it's 20 minutes twice a day. I don't, I still don't do that. So I'm not gonna sit here and lie to you and pretend that for perfect meditation practice, but also know meditation. Doesn't have to just be the traditional, like sit with the eyes closed, silent, like, Oh, do the meditation in a way that suits you and fits you, uh, in a way that is the most has the most ease and joy and grace.

The one that at least gets you started Headspace is a really great app, calm as the other app. Uh, even sometimes music, uh, with no words, ideally, but music just start with three minutes. Visualization is also a form of meditation. The reason I say meditation too, is it, it allows you to, uh, be aware of and be more focused with your thoughts. Not necessarily clear your thoughts, but in a way that watching TV won't TV is a distraction, but it doesn't help your thoughts. Does that make sense? So yes, obviously do things that you enjoy. And if that is TV for a bit, then do that. Meditation is one of those things is really going to help sleep as much as you can eat. Well, no drink, good food, eat good food and drink plenty of water and surround yourself with people who get it and could hold your space.

And sometimes there aren't people that can. And sometimes if you, particularly, if you're going through this death and this transformation, the same people from your past, don't maybe don't serve you anymore. Uh, Nasser Kay, and being okay with that. And I'm not judging it because there is truth in that you become someone else. Well, your old life doesn't necessarily exist in the same way. Right. Uh, David White has this quote and I'm just going to read the end of it. Cause it's really, really beautiful anyone or anything that does not bring you alive is too small for you. Oh, it hits right. And like I said, just don't judge it. I hope this has helped you feel not so alone. Even just recording. This makes me feel just a little bit less alone. And hopefully the things in here, the practices, the points that I've hit on some of the questions that have been really helpful for me have, I'm going to help you too. And as always jumped in to the group or DME on Instagram, if you're currently in this, or if you're listening to this in a year and you're going through this. Yeah. DME, you know, the more that we talk about it, the more that we don't deny it, the more that we surrender to it and accept it and just be real about it being present, the easier, the easier I'm not saying it's easy. Just the easier now. Finally I am. Okay. Okay.

Uh, I appreciate when, you know, when I get real with you and people DM me and ask if I'm okay, I am okay. I wanted to share with this with you to be really vulnerable, to let you know why I'm not totally in completely showing up online in the way that I usually do. Um, because I, I genuinely my genuine thought being a hundred percent transparent with you is what's the point. That's actually how I feel. What's the point? Not, not like what's the point of living, but just like, what's the point. Um, so that's just where I'm at. I am. Okay. Uh, it's just, it's just where I'm at with this document. It's hard. It's heavy. It's dark. It's scary. I guess I will get through it. I have some hope. Um, and I know that even if you are too, then that you will too. I don't know anyone that hasn't got through it. Let's just say that. And I know that on the rebirth, everyone that talks about the rebirth and them coming out on the other side, it's, it's a total transformation. It's never something they ever expect or it's like, it's astounding, which there's hope in that.

All right. Thank you for holding a space for me to share this story with you. I appreciate you, sir. I love you. I'll see you next week. If you're not part of the ms. Wealthy movement yet, make sure you head over to Instagram and hang out with me. There I am at ms. Wealthy official. And if you need anything else, head to ms. wealthy.com, you can get all the info that you need. Find us on Facebook as well. And I'd also love if you can drop a review on iTunes, it supports us massively, and it means the freaking world.