The Self-Worth episode

It's the 'What to do if you don't feel good enough' episode.

Enough said, right? The title doesn't need anything more...you know what I'm talking about. 

The thing that sooooo many of us face. The thing that holds us back from more abundance, love, wealth and money. 

Yep. Self worth. Feeling good enough. Feeling like you 'don't deserve it.'

xo
Simone

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If you want to keep on earn more and make more money you're in the right place. I spent over 10 years learning from the most brilliant minds in money, wealth, and investing to take myself from 20 K in debt to a seven figure investment portfolio. Join in. As I share the secrets towards more money investing and ultimately freedom. My name is Simone Masa, Huggins, and welcome to ms. Wealthy's. Kiss my money podcast.

Hey, all of my money veins. Welcome back to another app this week, this week's heavy. Like I am not going to be talking about light stuff, but it's come to my attention that I need to talk about this more and I need to raise it and I need to go deep because it is calming up by lab. And I thought no better person to talk about it. Someone that has struggled with it too. And yes, I am talking about self worth. It comes up in all myriads of things. Sometimes people call it being worthy, feeling worthy, feeling good enough. I'm not deserving a feeling that, you know, you don't deserve something. And before I even dive into this, I need to say that it is not something that you are alone in. This is literally like something that every human being faces. It doesn't matter who you are.

You're a celebrity. If you're a politician, if you're a mom, if you're a student, everyone faces the feelings of not being good enough, but, and there's a big, but there is a massive scale when it comes to how deep it goes. Uh, and that scale also impacts how much it actually affects your life. And for some of you that might be listening, there could be some of you out there that's thinking, do I have this belief, maybe this doesn't apply to me. Uh, and that was definitely me when I kinda entered into the personal development slash self-help slash growth world. Um, about, Oh God, I can't remember now, like maybe eight or nine years ago now. And I didn't really even understand the concept on the concept of self worth, what it meant. And I definitely didn't realize how much it was affecting me, but also not just me, like how much was affecting my entire life, my future, my relationships, how I was acting and behaving.

And literally like understanding that I was self sabotaging everything. And this core belief underpinned, like how I acted, behaved, thought all of it. And I got like, I got to be real with you. It's not like I don't still have it. Like, I think one of my biggest struggles when I was working on my self worth quote unquote, uh, for so long was I used to get so frustrated when I would do something massive, like go to Tony Robbins date with destiny or go to UPW. And then I went to date with destiny again, and then I worked with a psychologist for two years, and then I did landmark and I'd let you know, I did so many other programs I worked with. Like, I can't even count the number of coaches I worked with on one hand and it still comes up. And this week, guess what?

It came up again, slapped me in the face. And I realized not that, uh, that I don't have this belief, but I realized that I was trying to deny myself from accepting that I still had it because I'll be honest. Like I get frustrated that I still have parts of it within me when I've worked on it so hard. And yes, I will say hands down that where I was eight or nine years ago to where I am today is vastly fundamentally different, like worlds apart, not even the same person. And yet I still have this kind of expectation that, you know, it would just disappear, which is unrealistic. So I want to talk to you about it because I know that it's something that so many of us face and maybe it's just not talked about enough. I think I forget because I've worked in it so much and I've, you know, just shoved myself into the world so much that I think that it's something that everyone talks about.

And I think that it's something that everyone's worked on and has it covered, you know, to improve on, but actually it's not. And part of the reason that it's, this is kind of triggered this week is a, because this has come up this week with my, with one of my coaches and yes, I say one off because I do have multiple, um, I've mentioned before, how growth is my number one value. And it's a really big part of my life. And you know, to me, if I'm not growing, I'm not evolving. And that's what literally what makes me feel alive. But, um, so one of my it's it's come up and I realized that I was trying to deny this part of like, feeling, feeling like it wasn't okay for me to like, not feel worthy, not feel good enough. And it came up because I got like little bit stuck on some stuff around selling like sales mindset because I run a business.

Right. And I know that I have a lot of listeners and, and a lot of followers that are female entrepreneurs. So I know that you will also resonate with this and you get this, that selling is part of the game. Like, yes, I am in the world of transforming finances for women and increasing female net worth for you so that you can achieve financial freedom. But part of my business is sowing and that's just, that's just how it is. If you're an entrepreneurial business owner and it came up and I was realized, I was denying myself of, of allowing myself to feel, uh, like I, you know, I had a block around selling because I just thought I'm a money consultant. I'm a wealth consultant. How could I possibly have even more deeper blocks around money and wealth and honestly, selling when it comes down to it is about money.

Like that's what it is because you're taking someone's money and giving them something in exchange for it, right. And the person that gives you money. And this is true for all of my investing boot campaigns, everyone that has given me money has been in exchange for me, coaching, guiding, and showing them something. So to them, it was more valuable to give that up, to get the results and it is worth, it. I've come to a really good place of knowing that investing bootcamp is 100% hands down, incredibly freaking valuable. And it helps getting amazing feedback from all the women that go through it and this self worth I'm not good enough. Oh, stuff is when you, like, when you break it down, what it shows up as is self sabotage, shame and self deprecation, basically that the three things, right. And when we think about self sabotage, it's no wonder when it comes to setting goals or like creating a vision of what you want to create, you know, in the next five, 10, 20, whatever years that so many women get blocked around this and don't aim for the stars.

And actually this happened with one of my newest members in investing bootcamp this week. She is so incredible and she's gotten massive results recently from the five day challenge. And she said on one of the money mastermind calls this week, that she was setting goals with her hubby, which was amazing. And then when we're talking about money, and then we're talking about, you know, this of failure and this warrior around self sabotage. And then she said, you know what? I just realized that I've set my goals too, like too low. I shouldn't be aiming. Flash should be Amy for this. And that's sometimes how self-worth and not feeling good enough shows up this like demon that's sitting behind in our brain. And it's literally ruling everything that we do, even when it comes down to like goals and setting, what

Do you think you could achieve?

You think you're worth? And it comes up as shame as well. So shame around finances, shame around, not earning enough, shame around, you know, being aware that you've paid enough, being paid more. And Renee Brown talks about this so eloquently, if you don't know her stuff, check out her, uh, her two Ted talks and she also has a documentary on Netflix and she has five amazing books. And she explains shame the difference between shame and guilt. So freaking well, this is how she said that essentially when it comes to guilt, guilty is I did something bad, but shame is I am bad and honestly self worth. And what are the nurse and not feeling good enough is about shame. It's about us saying to ourselves that I'm actually ashamed of who I am and when it comes, when it really boils down to it, it's about perfection.

So thinking that we need to be perfect, and if we're perfect, then we're good enough. And if we're perfect, then people will love us. And if we're perfect, then we're worthy. And we know about perfection. That is absolute bull crap, right? Because not only is it no further room for growth, but perfect. Isn't relatable. I mean, not only is it not real, but you can already go from that. Like, what's the point then what you re reached this like apifany moment. And then like, and then what, not only that, but being perfect, isn't even intelligent. It's not an intelligent move, but it is the, the thing that underpins our worthiness and good enough newness and our feeling of trying to feel shame. And I, Brown talks about this, you know, the perfection thing is us walking around with this 10 ton shield on our back, like this arm or of like, don't let anyone see that actually, when not perfect.

And I don't have this for so that people will like me more and people will love me more. And then I won't be rejected and I won't be alone. Whew. That's a lot. Right. And I talk about this because I've, I've lived through it, I'll live through it. It's still part of me and my DNA and it's coming up so much because recently I was going through the answers that have come up when everyone joins my Facebook group, the kiss, my money, Facebook group. And there's one question in there just so I can get some, uh, you know, better understanding around what you're struggling with and what comes up for you. And the question is what is your biggest pain point when it comes to increase your income and your net worth? And you know what the most consistent responses hands down, it's all around being worthy.

It's about feeling good enough. It's about, you know, just the worry around never having enough, never being enough, never, literally it's all around self worth. And some people express it in ways that they understand that that is the blog. And some others express it in ways that for me now, knowing and working with so many people, one on one and in groups and working on it myself. Now, I know how it comes out when they're, when someone actually says something. I know that the underlying, um, like belief is worthiness. So like things, what you guys are saying, like not being able to ask for more or not being able to ask for what I'm worth at work. Um, not knowing how to, um, make more money because I don't believe I'm worth it. Uh, not believing I can do it, not believing I can set goals that are big, um, self worth, being a big issue.

Um, not knowing how and thinking. I can't do it really thinking you can't do it. It's just about self worth. Right? And so much of this is coming up for so many of you, like not deserving it and not knowing how to ask for more. And this is what is stopping so many of us, it shows up with things like, uh, not going for a job that is like, literally would be paying you more. It shows up by not asking for a raise. More. It shows up by not pushing for a raise. If you get told the first time, no, it shows up by not setting goals or not setting big enough goals or was setting goals and then hitting them and then not feeling happy or fulfilled because you think that you don't deserve it. It shows up by not speaking up, like literally it could be in a meeting, it could be with clients.

It could be with your partner. It shows up by not being your true self and thinking that you should be or act a certain way so that other people will like you, it shows up by saying, sorry, when you actually not sorry, or responsible for anything, like, think about when a lot of women will unexpectedly cry. Cause they're like emotional about something. And they'll say, sorry, like almost repeatedly. So I'm just like, sorry for taking up space. Like what it shows up by not setting boundaries. And this one was something that I learned when I started my journey. Didn't even know what boundaries were, but it is literally an act of self care and self love. And this shows up so much in so many things and how it shows up when it comes to investing. I'm speaking a little bit about money when it comes to investing is thinking that you can't do it thinking that you're not smart enough thinking that, you know, good enough thinking that, um, you couldn't possibly be able to navigate it.

Even if you, you know, for example, join investing bootcamp. And I give you everything, the block around thinking that you can't do it is one of the biggest things that stops so many women. And it is so painful for me to see, and it breaks my heart so much because I know it's the very thing that is stopping you from actually being more abundant, like literally both in money, but also in self love and love from people around you. The very thing, the self worth block, the limiting belief around being good enough is the very thing that is stopping you from having and getting, and making and multiplying more money and creating more wealth for you and your family and, and your future. And when we think about the opposite of what is the opposite of being ready and not feeling good enough, right? Well, it's, you might say, duh, it's worthiness.

Well, obviously it's being good enough. Here's my question for you being good enough for what literally being good enough for a person being good enough for, for money or for more money, because I've spoken a lot about how money is just energy. It's just an exchange for time, for experience, for service, for a good, for food, for convenience, for, you know, like so many different things. So being, being good enough for a service being good enough for an experience being good enough for just having to buy food, like really, what are we trying to be good enough for? And if it's for a person, here's the thing. Everyone enters this world with a blank slate. Everyone enters this world. Good enough. Everyone's worthy. Literally everyone, somewhere along the line, we all had a bunch of experiences that we decided meant that we didn't deserve something that meant something about us.

And we all have them. I know. And so you might be thinking, well, something's like, something's got to give, and it's healthy to have some degree of not feeling good enough on an extremely low level. Meaning if we all thought that we were just like shit hot at everything, and we'd all be walking around, never thinking that we never have to improve, or we could never like learn from mistakes or we could, you know, we'd never do anything wrong, but where most of us sit on the scale and if you're still listening right now, you're on the scale of it's too far. The other way. It's too far on that. I don't, I'm not good enough. And it's like inherent core belief is so ingrained and it happens over years and years and years of constant. Self-talk constant. Self-deprecation talking to ourselves about what we're crap at talking to ourselves about something we did that meant that therefore we aren't enough.

And here's the kicker. You know what most people say when they, when they're asked, when they pose the question of what is the opposite of it's actually confidence, self esteem believing in oneself and here is where it gets interesting. All of that comes from learning a skill from getting competent. And that wood is honestly one of the most boring words, I think pushed dictionary, but literally being confident and having self esteem and, you know, literally carrying around this of, yeah, I'm good at that. That is confidence. What does confidence come from? Competence, competence in your ability and competence just comes from learning a skill, getting the knowledge, doing it, learning it at sometimes failing and then getting up and doing it again. And then just getting to the point where you're like, yeah, I can do this. I've done this enough times. Yeah. Like, cool.

I can manage that. This literally what it comes from. And so you like, all right, hold up then how do you rewire? It's a little more complex unfortunately than just getting confident and competent about everything in our life. But what I know we can all do is a lot of stuff which helps to rewire years of what you've been telling yourself. And you might be saying to yourself, hold up, Simone, you been working for it nine years and you still face it. Remember how I said, I'm a different person to who I was before. Like when I first started this journey and I didn't even know what, you know, feeling worthy or feeling good enough even meant when I was relaying and retelling the story after leaving my psychologist. And for the record, I had a great experience. I had an incredible psychologist. She was amazing.

Uh, it did take years. It's not as fast process. Um, but I had an amazing experience. I know that not everyone does, but after I kind of learned about this new world of what, why the nurse meant. And I was retelling this to my husband, bear in mind at the time, I didn't know that I was actually clinically depressed. I didn't realize how bad it was for me. And I was telling him, we were out at dinner at a date night. And he said to me, turned to me and said to me the, for the first time, not that you know, anyone says this out loud, uh, it's not a sentence that many people say to each other. Uh, we were having a margarita at a bar, very public bar in Bondai. So, you know, Bondo is full of like cool kids. And he turned to me and he said, Simone, you are worthy.

And I could not even deal with hearing it because I just hadn't heard it before. I literally hadn't like, think about the people in your life. It could be a friends, your husband, your parents, whoever, how many times has anyone said to you, babe, you are worthy. You are worthy. I could probably count on one hand, even for those of you that have had it said to your face, and I'm not talking an Instagram post that you read and saved, you know, and I'm not talking about like the cute little meme that you've put in saved as your desktop screensaver or your iPhone screensaver. And I get it. Cause I've done that stuff too, hun. I've done all the things to try and rewire, but literally the first time I heard it, I burst out crying in the middle of the bar, halfway through this margarita.

I just couldn't even like, like literally absorbing that was just such an emotional overload. So if no one's ever told you, or if you haven't been told it enough, which I know is hands down true. Because so many of us struggle with this. I am telling you, now you are worthy. You came into this world worthy, you were born where the, you are just as worthy as the person next to you. You are just as worthy as J-Lo and beyond say, and every other actor or singer or whatever, you're as worthy as your boss. You're as worthy as your partner. You're as whether you as your sister, as well as your friend and your mom and all the Insta influences that you see, you're literally why that you have everything. And even if you're crying right now, even if you're struggling to believe me right now, I'm still going to give you some extra stuff that you can do to start to rewire.

Because me telling you right now is actually here's the irony. It's actually not enough because I'm battling with years of you telling yourself that you're not. So me just telling you once is not enough. It's actually not like that is truth. That's not, that's not a belief. What is important is that we rewire it. And that takes a little bit more than just being told at once. I know crazy, right? Because we have to drown out the noise and the quote unquote damage of being like telling yourself consistently for so long telling, you know, putting down ourselves with thoughts like that, literally like tell our brain to believe it that's literally what's happened. So how can you do that? Through tuning into more podcasts, through doing things like mirror work. And you're like, what? What's that? Okay. Some mirror work is literally saying to yourself in the mirror and you're going to sound like a complete loony.

When you do it the first time babe, you're worthy or insert name here, you're worthy Simone, you're worthy. Like you're worthy. It's going to, it probably will feel uncomfortable the first time it did for me, it's saying to yourself in the shower, every time it doesn't have to take any more time, just do it literally when you clean your teeth in the shower. And if that still feels too hard, start with, I want to be worthy. Just start there and tell yourself every single day, twice a day, kind of like what they say about, you know, cleaning your teeth every single day, twice a day, the joy read more books around this. There are heaps of amazing money books. For example, Denise Duffield Thomas has an amazing one. Um, Jensen, Sarah has an amazing one. Like there's so many great books around worthiness and money and, uh, train into Bruneau Brown.

She has amazing stuff. You can come and join my free group, kiss my money, um, and talk about it in there. I even had a recent free challenge where I talked about money books, and I know that this episode has not been around specifically money or investing or wealth, but as I kind of mentioned, and you're probably getting by now, it underpins everything, literally everything. And it's stopping you from setting goals. That's stopping you from earning more and stopping you from making more stopping you from investing more. And so it's stopping you literally from having more net wealth net worth. And because that's my jam, that's my game. I need to literally go back to the layers that are preventing. So many of you from getting ahead. And I know that if I hadn't worked on this so much for the last nine or so years, that there's no way I would have got to where I was today.

I couldn't have built a million dollar portfolio from nothing. If I still had a belief that I wasn't worthy or deserving or good enough. And did I think that when I first started investing, yes, I think I've told my story before. Couple of times here and there that like before I started investing, I thought I couldn't possibly do it. Cause what did I know? And who know that? So many of you think that too. And that's why I first went and saw a financial advisor thinking, hi, couldn't possibly do it. And thank God. You know, I saw the light and I realized I could. And I realize that we are all actually freaking good at it.

So you have

Homework now. Yay, homework, the fun kind, not stuff that you get at school. And then like have to spend your weekend on, literally go and do mirror work, go and rent a book, buy a book, whatever it is, make sure you rate it though, you know, put on YouTube affirmations and music before you go to bed, do the mirror work, come and join my group, come and join investing bootcamp. Cause we talk about this stuff in depth and you can talk about it with me and other babes. All right. And the more you get competent at not only telling yourself that you are worthy because you are, but also the more competent you get at money at asking for a raise at practicing, asking for a raise at practicing, raising your prices at practicing selling. If you're an entrepreneur, um, the more competent you get, the more confident you will get, and that will also have a massive impact on your self worth and good enough notice and yes. All right. All right, babe, I'm going to leave you with that and if you haven't heard it enough already, honestly, you are worthy. I love you.